My Own Worst Enemy
by DarkJadedRose
Summary: Rogan Rogue mentally relives Logans past
1. My own worst enemy

**_Read and Review; it may be romantic or platonic. I don't know what mood I'm in yet. I don't own Lit's song or anything else familiar and Marvel owns these characters._**

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"MR. LOGAN! MR. LOGAN! MR. LO-" Kitty shouted at the top of her lungs. Logan slammed the door open mid scream and stared at the blue eyed beauty who stared him down just as harsh. He looked over at Rogue who was humming along to a song that he didn't know and thanked God for it.

"Please tell me...please tell me why! Mah car is in the front yard and Ah'm..." Rogue sang as she painted her nails a deep shade of green, its awful scent creeping up his nose. He banged the c.d. player and it shattered beneath his hands. Rogue looked up and a muscle beat in her temple. "What?" she asked quietly.

Logan sighed and pointed to the door. Rogue grabbed Kitty's pink hand towel and rubbed off the wet paint from her nails before throwing it to the side. Kitty's eyes narrowed and she stuck her tongue out as Logan followed Rogue outside. Logan grabbed Rogue by her arm and pulled her into the Professor's office.

"You're a nuisance kid," Logan said and shoved her into the room. Rogue watched as Xavier eerily turned around his wheelchair and tapped his finger's together. She really loved the old man, but the whole thing was looking like a bad movie.

"Ya called?" Rogue asked. Xavier cocked a brow.

"Actually Rogue, Kitty screamed," Xavier corrected with a sleek accent. She rolled her pale eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, her pale face turning pink with annoyance. "Maybe it's just me, but is there tension between you and Kitty?"

Rogue looked at him like he was on crack until she saw the smile on his face and smiled a little herself. He was pulling her leg.

"Maybe a little..." she said, giving in slightly.

"I was thinking of perhaps rooming you with Jean," _cue in disgusted look by Rogue and smile from Xavier._ "But then I thought it might be another bad idea. Then I thought of something else."

"Continue," Rogue said after a few seconds of silence.

"Perhaps I'll just move you to the teacher's ward for a while until I can get the servant's quarters in the attics broken down into a new set of rooms."

"We have a servant's quarters? How old is this place?" Rogue asked. Xavier didn't answer but continued on with the previous discussion.

"You can get your stuff and leave today but please, don't tell the other students. Scott had his heart set on it but with you and Kitty consistently giving me headache's...I think I'll give you a break."

"Ah guess," Rogue said quietly though on the inside she was dying to rub it in Kitty's face. She left the room and pressed her body against the wall as a herd of wild teenagers ran past her. They didn't notice her and just headed out the door with an exhausted Ororo walking down the stairs.

"Rogue, are you coming with us?" she asked. Rogue cocked a brow in confusion.

"Where?" Rogue replied. Storm's brows furrowed.

"Didn't the others tell you? We're going to a theme park today."

"No they didn't," Rogue snapped and went up the stairs to move her things.

"Rogue you can still join us!" Storm called after her, her only reply being the slamming of the door. Storm sighed and shook her head at Logan who leaned against the wall with a toothpick between his teeth. "Poor child."

"Yeah," he said and made his way to his bedroom; he heard a slam next door to his room and groaned. Little question was left onto which room the professor had placed the angry little girl.


	2. Dead

**Still haven't decided on their relationship. But let's see what happens.**

* * *

Rogue began to bang her things around the room as she got settled in. She banged the drawers shut, banged the closet open and dropped her shoes one by one loudly on the floor.

'Stupid Kitty,' she thought. Ever since Kitty had gotten with Lance she had become more and more annoying, she just wouldn't stop getting on Rogue's nerves. Well at least Rogue had gotten what she wanted, some privacy. She was about to turn on her radio before remembering that it was destroyed under the fist of her sometimes mentor. She sighed and sat heavily on the bed.

She looked outside the huge window and saw all of the X-kids climbing into three vans. She grinded her teeth and couldn't hold her anger in anymore, banging things wasn't helping. Figuring her room was sound proof since she couldn't hear anything from the rooms beside her own she screamed at the top of her lungs. Her door was suddenly banged open and there stood Logan with his claws extracted and his lips in a snarl.

Logan noticed her red face and the torrent of tears that poured down her cheeks. Not knowing what to do he simply retracted his claws and watched as she sobbed on the edge of the bed alone. He was fascinated by the moment. He had never seen her break down that way and with sincere inexperience he didn't know what to do so he just watched her.

Rogue just couldn't stop crying. The anger and frustration was too great to control. She merely stared at Logan as her emotions oppressed her desire to stop crying. She wanted to kill him and she wanted to die. When the tears stopped flowing she felt so weak, she almost slumped forward.

She used the last bit of strength she had to notice a letter opener on the desk in her room. She lunged after it and stuck it through her stomach, feeling the pain almost instantly. She lifted her hands; the letter opener stuck in her body and saw the blood all over her hand. The last thing she heard was a shout as she fell into oblivion and the last thing she felt was an intense pain that over took her as her body absorbed too much, too fast.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ororo was explaining to Hank Scott's excuse on why Rogue wasn't invited.

"Can you believe these children? Rogue _never_ says yes, so they choose to exclude her from all kind of human affection, her just not touching anyone for eternity isn't enough pain for her," Ororo said. Hank sighed and leaned back, he checked to make sure his image inducer was still working, keeping his image under cover. He looked over at Ororo her brown cheeks flushed a wine color.

"Look the children were wrong, but let's not make this trip worst then it's already been made."

"I have the strongest desire to go right back to the Institute and cancel this trip. They were severely irresponsible and should pay for such a crime," she replied. Hank sighed and allowed her to vent to him, hoping the other teens were minding their business. His cell phone rang and he had trouble pressing the tiny button that would allow him to talk.

"McCoy," he answered and gasped at the news given him. "Storm," he shouted, using her codename unconsciously. "We must return to the Institute." Ororo made a rapid u-turn and turned his way.

"Why?!" she asked, driving rapidly, she noticed the two other vans follow.

"Rogue is dead."


	3. Pain

**Hi Guys!**

**Agent-G: I love having you review because you are so honest and I would like you to continue reading, but it definitely is leaning towards a romance. I wouldn't read something I don't like either though, but I hope you continue to keep up your honest reviews. You're the reason why I changed my last chapter in the Toad/OC fic. It was a let down. Honesty is the best policy, in fan fiction.**

**XME: I swear, I will eat onions (Shrek) Let's see what happens…**

**Rebel Rogue 127: They so do…read the above.**

**Blix Howlett: I introduce myself as Samantha Howlett…isn't that weird, Darn Logan!**

**Annikask8s2005: I love your reviews. I haven't written in a while either, but I'm getting back in the mode! Any new fics you want me to read?**

**The Gambit 23: This is probably going to be a Rogan…but I have two fics focused on Romy's (The Impossible love series and A Rogue and a Rat, A Bamph and a Kat). I would love to read ur fics, do u have an e-mail address so I can e-mail my reviews? My review button ain't working…**

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The students had no idea what was going on and walked into the institute pissed off. Kitty threw herself into the sofa and Scott and Jean angrily spoke to each other on the only reason that they had to come back. When Jean had called Kitty to find out why they were turning back she could only tell them that it had something to do with Rogue.

"Rogue is so dramatic," Jean said. Scott didn't want to agree with her but subconsciously he thought that perhaps there was some truth to it. They barely noticed the adults run past them down to the med lab.

Ororo shoved Hank out of the way and they ran down. Xavier was holding Rogue's hand; she lay lifeless underneath a white sheet, her skin just as colorless. Ororo fell to her knees beside the bed and began sobbing. The professor opened his eyes and frowned.

"Ms. Munroe, please control your self. Any excitement can cause her to lose focus," he said crisply. Ororo looked up; her blue eyes welled with tears.

"She's alive?" she whispered. The Professor smiled kindly.

"Yes, but only because of Logan," he began. Hank looked over at the other bed. Logan was also lying there, almost lifeless. His breathing was uneven and there was some dried up blood around his knuckles. Hank looked at the professor in question. "Rogue took a letter opener and stabbed herself." Ororo gasped. "Logan had caught her before she fell to the floor but the damage had been done, it had penetrated a vein connected to the heart, she was losing blood too fast. Logan touched her face but it wasn't working, she was too far gone. Instead he ripped off her clothing and caused her body to react at the intense contact. It brought her back to life but the contact was so close that she took in too much of him; almost all. She just screamed and then she fainted."

"Hank had told me that she was dead," Ororo whispered, grazing the cool face of the rogue. The professor looked at Hank I question, who blushed a deep purple.

"I guess we should blame it on poor Jamie…" Hank replied. The professor smiled.

"Yes, you should have seen his face. I had to calm him down before I sent him to call you two home. Maybe I should have done it myself." The professor let go of Rogue and motioned them up towards his office. They managed to get some privacy and Xavier shared more of his thoughts. "I fear that things may be more complicated then just a suicide attempt."

"What do you mean Charles?" Ororo asked. Xavier sighed deeply.

"I went through Rogue mind to see how she was doing, and it just caused panic to rise in me. Her thoughts are incoherent, random memories blended into one another. I fear Logan's subconscious has completely merged with her own."

"What does that mean?" Ororo asked. Hank took it upon himself to explain.

"If Rogue's memories are mixed with Logan's, she won't just be dealing with her own past and her own nightmares, but also his. She won't be able to distinguish between his truths and her own."

"Exactly," Xavier agreed.

"What are we to do?" Ororo asked. Her heart was in great pain over the situation.

"We must wait until Logan awakens and discuss it with him. He plays a great role in this," Xavier shared. Hank rubbed his chin.

"It may be a mixed blessing," he said. Xavier and Ororo looked at him in confusion. "If…when, we get Rogue through this, she may be able to answer Logan's past. His subconscious has merged with her conscious; she can reveal his secrets because they are not hidden to her." They quietly returned to the med lab where Logan groaned. Rogue still lay lifeless on the bed, her body enraged with fever. Ororo prayed that the pain would pass quickly.

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At the middle of the night when all were asleep, a scream echoed through out the school. Xavier sat straight up in his bed and grabbed his head as it filled with intense images. He opened his eyes and saw only a bloody scene.

"It has begun."


	4. The Beginning

**Hey Guys. Shout Outs:**

**Agent G: Jean and Kitty weren't OOC because they didn't know that Rogue tried to kill herself. "The students had no idea what was going on…when Jean had called Kitty to find out why they were turning back she could only tell them that it had something to do with Rogue." If you remember Scott didn't invite Rogue because Rogue is constantly turning them down. That means they tried to invite her but she isolated herself from them. They're tired of asking her to join them. They are also angry because they knew Storm was upset because Rogue hadn't been invited so they assumed that Rogue had over dramatized a small situation causing them to return. Jean and Scott may be mature but in Evolution they're still kids. They are going to jump to conclusions and Kitty is quite immature and even though she and Rogue are 'friends' it doesn't mean that she wouldn't be mad if they had to come back from a trip because of her. So they have no idea the seriousness of the situation. They are speaking out of anger.**

**Now about Logan and Rogue, this is probably going to be a romance and that's it. I didn't plan to ask you to keep reading, I merely meant that I hope you keep reviewing the stories that you do like. I write what I feel. I had a lot of people who didn't like the idea of Scott and Kitty getting together and towards the end they put that story into Favorite Stories. I can see Rogue and Logan's personality click in every possible way. There is an undercurrent with Logan and Kitty in the comics and I thought that was cool which inspired my other two fics. So it's about preference, opinion and personal view, if you don't like don't read. I won't hold it against you. Like I said before, I wouldn't read something I didn't like either, no matter how cool the author.**

**Blix Howlett: The chapters will get longer. The reviewer above explained something and I decided to stretch things out a bit, more details and the such. It was going to be a 'Logan saves Rogue and everything's all better now' fic, but then I suddenly thought that up, glad you liked.**

**TheGambit23: I'm sorry to know that you aren't gonna continue reading. But I'm glad to have known you. I can't wait to read your stuff and get some reviews from you on any other fic you might like.**

**The SouthernBelle: Darlin' I hope you don't fall off after this chapter. Unless it's horribly written…**

**RandomReviewer: ME TOO! I like Logan and Rogue and Logan and Kitty, I think they are MUCH better then Logan and Jean or Ororo or blab la bla! I didn't think of Jamie not going, it just fit. I have to come up with an excuse for him now.**

**XME: I take it you liked it. If you plan to let them loose…please let me know! (so I can run!)**

**Annikask8s2005: Let's see what happens. I think this is the best plot I've had in a long, LONG time.**

**Maiden Genesis: Yeay! Go Rogan, go Rogan, go go goRogan!**

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_Rogue's eyes opened and she sputtered in the narrow tank. She took in a deep breath and choked as she felt green liquid ooze into her lungs, causing her insides to burn. How she could breathe it in was incoherent. She tried to cry out but yet again the ooze entered her body. She tried to beat at the glass but it just wouldn't budge. She felt as if the glass encasing was becoming smaller and smaller. She was beginning to feel claustrophobic._

_She looked to her left and saw a bunch of men toasting each other. So happy, so joyful while she was in that tiny box trying to breathe some air. Her body filled with anger so intense that pain surged through her body and she hit the glass in front of her. She couldn't break it, she hit the glass again and again, and it didn't break. Her anger was turning to frustration and desperation. The walls were closing in on her, she could feel it. She couldn't help herself. She felt as if she was being torn apart._

_Suddenly an emotion so overwhelming overcame her and she screamed as she felt the flesh around her knuckles get torn apart. She saw red, the pain so great that she lost her mind. She couldn't deal with it. It was a pain she had never felt before. She sent her fist straight to the glass and it shattered. She fell onto the ground and gasped in air while coughing out the ooze that had been in her lungs._

_Rogue looked at her hands and saw these massive knives going through her fingers. She looked down and saw her nude body covered in ooze. Her breast were exposed, nothing was covering her. She felt not only e__mba__rrassment but rage. She looked up and saw people's faces. There were several men and two women. They looked at her in shock. She sniffed and sensed fear, she could smell it. The fear caused her blood to bubble. She felt her body become aroused as she smelled their fear permeate the air._

_She growled and let out a scream that would have tortured them for life if they had lived long enough. The rage was so intense that she didn't see anything; she just felt the blood that splattered against her body, mixing with the green ooze that already covered her. She stuck her claws into the gut of one of the men and looked deep into his eyes. He didn't make a sound, his mouth opened and he gurgled; blood was everywhere. She pulled her claws out and looked at the blade, covered in hot blood and out of instinct she ran her tongue along the edge, slicing her tongue open and feeling a new sensation of pain before it healed almost immediately._

_The massacre continued even after the alarms were set off. She took her last victim and looked into his eyes, they were an icy blue and she remembered his face when he had walked into the pub she had been at. He had asked her to willingly put her life at stake for a kind of bonding that would make her bones stronger. He had said that her mutant capabilities would kick in and heal her but she had declined. The bastard had found a way to stun her and take her to this damn lab. She didn't think twice about killing him._

_She stuck one claw into the middle of his belly and slowly brought it up, ripping in half his insides. The man had let out a cry that pleased her so much that she wanted to hear more. She pulled her claw out and began to slash him, just ripping his body into shreds before she heard gunshots. She ran outside and saw guards surrounding. She ran right through them and killed whoever got in her way._

_She managed to lose them out in the woods and fell into the ice cold snow. She looked at her hands as they shriveled up with cold, they turned red quickly. She was too exhausted to move so she just lay down in the snow, in hopes that she would soon be dead. Her hand was lying right near her face and she saw the blood freeze against her skin. She used every last bit of strength to pop out those claws and bit her lip at the intense feeling that provoked some sickening joy in her heart before she passed out._

* * *

Xavier cried out in the midst of the darkness. Ororo was the first who ran in, dressed in her nightgown. She pressed her hand against his forehead and felt the fever that had rushed through his body. Hank came in a little afterward and took out a small machine; it looked like an old recorder. He placed two suction cups on the side of his temples and pressed record. The machine seemed ancient but he had adjusted it so it could record his thoughts, or Rogue's thoughts.

Scott banged open the door and called out the professor's name but Xavier remained immobile as the memory that played in his mind was recorded. Ororo walked towards him and gently pushed him out of the room before closing the door behind him.

"Scott what is wrong?" she asked, trying to remain calm. Scott was breathing heavily as he tried to explain what was going on.

"It-it's Jean. She just woke up screaming. I don't know what's wrong. She started to bleed through her nose and holding her head. Kitty's in there with her now," he said. He had been on edge since Xavier had informed them what had happened.

Jamie had been sent back to bed to battle his flu in silence while the Professor had explained what had occurred to Rogue. The guilt that they had felt over what they had donehad been overwhelming when they had heard that Rogue had hurt herself when she had **accidentally** fallen against the desk and stuck a letter opener through her stomach. Kitty had cried and Jean had spent the afternoon helping Hank calm her fever. The guilt of not having tried a little harder to have her go with them had kept him awake most of the night before Jean's screams.

Hank opened the door to Xavier's room and looked at Scott before sending a silent message to Ororo. The professor's voice filled her mind.

**_I want you to get Jean out of here now_!** he told her through his thoughts, linking Hank's mind with their own. Hank interrupted.

_**The children will be curious, I can inject her with a sleeping serum to calm her down and spend the evening working on something to break off her telepathy with Rogue, Logan and you**_, he said.

_**Fine, but hurry. I need you downstairs as fast as possible. Storm, you can come with me to the med lab**_, Xavier finished.

Hank ran downstairs and got the serum before joining Scott in Jean's room. He injected her with the serum and five minutes later she was asleep, her breathing even. He stepped out to see the X-Kids in the hall, their faces worried.

"Jean is all right children. You can all go to bed," he said. They went to their rooms except for Kitty and Kurt. They stayed in the hallway and watched Scott go to his room and grab his pillow and blanket before laying at the foot of her bed.

"This is so weird…" Kitty said. "First Rogue get's hurt and now Jean does too."

"This is veird. I am going down to see Rogue tomorrow and ask her how she hurt herself. Ms. Munroe von't even look at our faces. There is something vrong," he agreed. They went to bed, but it was a long time before the children had fallen asleep.

Hank joined Ororo and Xavier at the Med Lab and closed the door behind him where all his chemistry equipment was stored. The professor went over to Logan whose healing factor had kicked in. He was heavily drugged but after time had passed the Professor assumed that he would awaken soon. Xavier had no idea how he would explain the situation to him.

He looked over at Rogue who was trembling violently, her sheets gray with the sweat that dripped down her body. They had found her with foam coming out of her mouth, Ororo calmly wiped it away and closed the curtain as she changed the sheets and Rogue's dripping wet night gown. After a mild sedative she lay peacefully in the bed, having no idea what had just happened before.

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**I guess it's still short...it looks way longer on microsoft word. ah well, i hope you liked. This isn't easy to right.**


	5. He's alive no not him

**_Raye_**

**_Thanks for taking the time to read my fic! Hope you enjoy this chappy_**

**_Ojoscafes_**

**_awwww. I hope I keep being unique, I hate repetitive stories_**

**_lil german emperor_**

**_It'll be starting soon! Just wait and see_**

**_RebelRogue127_**

**_Oh…we start getting to the nitty gritty in this chapter_**

**_Spice9_**

**_Hera ya go!_**

**_Red-angel-wings_**

**_Yeah…the licking knives thing was pretty creepy_**

**_kyo-kitty_**

**_Thanks about Jamie. But the pairing will begin soon._**

**_I love them together too! I'm glad that this story was the first u read, it makes me feel special :)_**

**_poisonedchaos_**

**_Logan is the best_**

**_Taana_**

**_I'm glad that you liked it. And I hope it stays at a good pace_**

**_Sabre_**

**_yesiree_**

**_annikask8s2005_**

**_U spelt it right! I'm glad that you liked the memory, I stole it from the movie :( I'm ashamed_**

**_RebelRogue127_**

**_The best reviewers, are the inspirational ones_**

**_Nercia Genisis_**

**_I hate jean too…but I can't kill her off…its not kind and blazi bla_**

**_Blix Howlett_**

**_I'm going to work reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaal hard to make this a longer chapter. REEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAL hard!_**

* * *

****

The next day they all were seated about his bed. Logan's vital signs had become stable and he was beginning to regain his coloring rather quickly. He was recuperating and they knew they had little time before he awoke. Ororo bit her lip and got up every now and then to check on Rogue who was still in a heavy sleep. She hadn't woken up yet either, but her belly was beginning to heal and they assumed that by the weeks end she would be up and running.

"Dr. McCoy…what conclusions have you drawn to Rogue's situation?" The professor asked.

Hank's eyes were hazy and tired. He had stayed up almost the whole night taking vital signs and coming up with a stable theory on her condition. He looked over at Ororo who was merely a black figure on the other side of the white curtain. He noticed her stiffen and take in a deep breath. He sighed.

"There is a fifty percent chance that it will be permanent…and a 90 percent chance that she will forever have him in her mind. Yesterday as I observed her I could already begin to see the skin between her knuckles begin to grow calloused, she hasn't shown any physical sign of his mutation yet but I believe it's because her body hasn't completely taken all of the physical attributes of his body. Instead she is busy adjusting to the mental absorption." He took in another deep breath. "Rogue is going to spend a long time believing that she is Logan. She'll know she is herself but his person will arise and take over."

"Is there anyway to help her?" Ororo asked. Hank shook his head.

"She'll just have to get through. The day when the personalities had begun to rise out of her it was Logan who had given her the strength to get through it. She had to live their lives in order to finish them. She has to do the same with Logan and no one knows himself better then Logan. He'll know what she's going through, relate to her and bring her out of her darkness."

"How can he bring her out of a darkness he has yet to get through?" Ororo asked, flustered. She noticed Logan shift out of the corner of her eye.

"At times Mrs. Munroe, one can see better when they are not in the picture," Professor Xavier responded. Hank nodded his head. "This might be his way of dealing with his own demons."

"I can handle my demons all on my own. The kid shouldn't have ta do it fer me," Logan's deep voice grumbled. The professor looked over at him.

"No…she shouldn't but we haven't got a choice now. If you are willing to handle the situation, it won't be an easy ride, but it will be easier for her and perhaps for you," the professor responded.

"How bad is it Chuck?" Logan asked. He began to get up but slowed down when he felt a little dizzy. They handed him a glass of water and it cooled his parched throat.

"It's severe Logan. The girl is going to fight out what has been suppressed by you for years. All the cold sweats you wake up to at night that you don't remember the next morning, will be her deadly nightmares while she is awake." The professor finished with a sigh.

"We've gotta stop this. I'm not gonna let her get hurt," he said. He stood up and walked over to her. He saw her lying on the bed, her face pale but slowly warming up. He reached out and touched her skin ever so slightly, but didn't feel the usual pull he felt. He took the opportunity of laying his hand on her cheek. It was slightly cool yet smooth. "I'm not gonna let you get hurt stripes. I'll be here all the way."

The rest of the adults looked at each other. Without speaking they felt what each other was thinking; first at the fact that her mutation hadn't acted up and second at the emotional attachment that had been displayed. The Professor pursed his lips at the idea that ran through his mind. There was a deep sense of understanding between them even as she slept and he feared that the situation would soon become more complicated with each and every revelation that Rogue had.

"We should let her rest…" the Professor said, beginning to lead the rest away.

"I…I wanna stay with her for a while," Logan said. The professor nodded his head; sensing that if he didn't agree an argument would ensue.

"I think we should go speak to the children. We need to clear things up and find a better way of dealing with their curiosity," the professor said. They left the room and the professor gave one look back. He would deal with everything in stride, he knew in the depths of his heart that through this ordeal all would end fine.

The second that the door closed Logan looked up and flinched. Rogue had her beautiful green eyes opened and gave him a half smile.

"What are ya doin' awake kid?" he asked a little taken a back. Rogue sat up and looked at him, her eyes just a few shades older then the last time he looked into them.

"Listenin'," she responded. He worried a little if she was him or her.

"Who are ya kid?" He asked and she grabbed his hand.

"Logan…A'm me…Ah…Ah can touch you. Ah can touch," she said excitedly and sat up. He gently pushed her down.

"Stripes…you don't know that yet. You're just been holdin' on for a few seconds," he replied. She sat back up with strength and held his hand tightly.

"Ah can touch you Logan," she repeated. She took his hand and held it to her cheek. Logan pulled it away again; he was just as lost as she was.

"What if it's just me?" he asked.

"Someone is enough," she replied. She smiled up at him again. Something was bothering him about her, she wasn't being herself. "I had a dream…"

"You…you did…'bout what?" He sat up now, gripping her hand as tightly as she gripped his. She sat up, face to face with him.

"Ah know what happened when ya woke up…at the plant…They were toastin' you. Ya were an experiment…but ya couldn't take it. Ya just snapped. Ya killed them, ya killed them all…except one man."

_She stuck her claws into the gut of one of the men and looked deep into his eyes. _

_He didn't make a sound, his mouth opened and he gurgled;_

_blood was everywhere._

"Ah didn't see him die…"


	6. Meetings and Development

**_Thanks for the reviews people. I needed it, just wrote an awful fic. But that's okay. Because we write whatever is on our minds and if their pointless and degrading…_**

**_We learn from them. _**

_**Don't be ashamed of flames, leave them up and leave the flamed fics up.**_

_**You can reflect on what you did wrong and think of how to make them better :)**_

_**Or worse, if you really wanna urk somebody.**_

**_

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_**

The young mutants sat around the Professor's office and looked down at their hands. They all wondered what they had been called in the office for. Was it to be reprimanded? Had they done something wrong? Was it finally about Rogue? Would Rogue be all right? Was she dying?

The Professor sensed every question and just sighed. He would have to be as diplomatic as possible when handling the situation. He had Ororo there to bring some calm to the younger students and Dr. McCoy to explain her diagnosis better.

"Students, I cannot tell you how glad I am at your vigils and concerns for Rogue…I know that I have been very vague in her condition and it was only because we, ourselves, did not know nor understand what was going on." The professor looked over at Kurt who played with the rosary in his hand, seated on the back of Scott's chair, his yellow eyes wet with unshed tears. "Rogue had a very severe accident and had lost much blood. She burst her appendix with a very sharp instrument that would have caused her death. Logan, who had been with her at the time, risked his own life in order to save Rogue. She ended up absorbing so much quickly that she took almost all of his life support. They both should have been dead today. Dr. McCoy is going to explain to you the medical problems of this incident. Dr. McCoy…"

Hank looked over at the Professor and then looked at his large blue hands. They were all waiting for him to speak with young eyes, so large and so innocent, so like Rogue's. But how could he explain that they had a chance of losing her? That Rogue just might not be Rogue anymore? He looked up at their tender faces and cleared his throat.

"Well…we know that Rogue tends to adapt the mental and physical aspects of a person. She had gone unconscious when Logan had held her and by the time she was healed he was too weak to pull away and she was unable to push him away. We got there in time but were still too late. Rogue was taken to the med lab for tests and Logan had been kept there for recuperation. They are both stable now and Logan had even woken up before we had come here and he is now downstairs with Rogue who will be joining us at any minute due to her quick recovery."

"How vill Rogue be vhen she vakes up?" Kurt asked, interrupting Hank. Kurt only wanted to know what would happen now. He also made a decision to visit his sister, with or without permission. He needed to see her; he needed to be with her at such a trying time.

"Rogue is going to be different. I'm not going to soften it up for you children; she will be at times, an exact replica of Logan. Her subconscious will rise up and take over her, making her think she's Logan. Whether the effects will be permanent, we don't know. She hasn't shown any signs yet of the physical affect except for calluses that had grown on her knuckles. Mentally…well, we'll find out when she wakes up."

"Do you have any questions?" The professor asked the students.

"Professor," Scott began. "How can we help?" The professor smiled at him and at all the students who eagerly leaned forward, ready to do what they could for their fellow teammate. He thought hard and looked over at Ororo who smiled encouragingly at him. He figured that perhaps she would be a tad more sensitive to what Rogue needed and decided to give her the chance of helping the students come to terms with how they could help.

"I'm going to ask Ms. Munroe to answer that question," he said. She looked at him in wonder and merely smoothed down her skirt before she spoke. She had thought up a few things and with the support of the other's she would be able to at least help Rogue a little.

"Well students, we will continue with the danger room sessions as we always have and Rogue will still be involved once she is ready. We know how aggressive Logan can get in these sessions and we must expect the same from Rogue. She is going to be highly active and very insistent, her instincts, perhaps, taking over common sense. When you speak to her, speak to her as you always have. She needs you to keep her in tuned with her self."

"Um, Ms. Munroe?" Kitty said, holding up her hand. At Ororo's acknowledgement she continued. "When…if she, like, starts to act like Logan, what should we do?"

"I think the best thing to do is call one of the adults. As time passes by and we begin to learn how to handle the situation, you can work with her one on one. Hopefully, we can quickly pass this time period."

"When can we see Rogue?" Jean asked, concerned. The others nodded their heads, especially the younger mutants.

"We'll be sure to let you know…she needs her rest for now," the Professor said. The students nodded and were then dismissed. But while one meeting ended, another began.

* * *

Kitty phased into Scott's room, knowing that the others would be in there as well. After every meeting the youngsters got together in order to come up with their own ideas and discuss whatever was going on amongst themselves. The situation was truly frightening to them all and they needed to be with each other so they could support each other and therefore be strong enough to support Rogue. She looked about but there was no sign of Kurt, knowing him, he had snuck downstairs.

They quietly looked at each other and contemplated the situations to themselves. The new mutants looked at each other and the older crowd wondered what was going on. The quieter they were, the more they were sure that there was a plan probably made.

"What's up?" Scott asked them. Bobby played the spokesmen and stepped forward.

"Well…we were thinking. We actually had Jamie downstairs to check up on Rogue since the accident. Now, don't get upset. He was there for only a little while this morning while they were talking with Logan and then he left real fast. But what do you expect when we're sitting around waiting to find out why one our friends is hidden away." Bobby continued, worried about getting reprimanded for their disobedience.

Scott nodded his head and didn't rebate them since they had actually considered sending someone downstairs themselves. They didn't want to seem hypocritical even to themselves.

"What exactly are you thinking?" Scott asked. Bobby bit his lower lip and leaned forward.

"The adults want us to let Rogue ride it out. But what if she really starts to believe she's Logan? I think we need to remind her of who she is now, ya know? Like show her pictures and bring up memories and stuff. Like a head start."

"They don't want us to interfere…" Jean said, worrying about the psychological aspects of the situation. She looked at their faces and pleading eyes and gave in. She didn't want to risk anything either and if anything happened at least the older students were in on it and could take control if it went to far or if they noticed any backfires. "I guess if we keep it under control and don't make it too obvious, we might pull it off."

Scott nodded his head and looked for someone in particular to give his input, the closest family she had. He was no where in sight.

"Where's Kurt?" Scott asked aloud.

* * *

Kurt slowly opened the back door of the med lab, not willing to get caught by teleporting in. He made his way around the rooms until he reached to where the beds were at. There he saw Rogue lying on the bed. Her eyes were opened and she was talking to someone, but he was still too far away to hear what was going on. He saw Ms. Munroe leave the room and was about to go towards her when he heard her voice. 

"Kurt? Kurt?" she said, looking in his direction.

Upon hearing his name he teleported to her and threw himself into her arms. He held her face with his fuzzy three fingered hand and kissed her forehead as quickly as possible pulling away before she could absorb him, not wanting to cause any more damage.

"Rogue…Rogue, you're all right," he said to her and then realized something. He had been rather far and had been quiet; there was no sulfur in the air for her to figure out his arrival. "How did you know that I vas here?"

Rogue smiled at him and caressed his face with her gloved hand before pulling away quickly. She had felt the slight pull and didn't want to hurt him, his concern flowed through her fingertips.

"I smelled you…"


	7. The Fantasy is Played Out

** 3 Thank You So Much Everyone! 3**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

* * *

"Rogue…you…you smelled me?" Kurt asked in shock. He bit his lower lip in nervousness; perhaps it was not a good idea for him to have come alone. But his sister's warm smile brought solace to his soul and moved closer towards her, keeping an eye on her in case her face changed or something of that nature. Her eyes were still their soft gray-green but they were missing the heavy makeup and was careful not to touch the exposed flesh that stuck out of the arm of her paper gown.

"Kurt...can…can I touch you?" Rogue asked him. She wondered if perhaps she would be able to touch another person. Kurt's eyes grew wide and he found himself at a lost of what to do. When Rogue saw his face she looked away feeling a little hurt but understanding where he was coming from. "Forget it Kurt…its okay…"

"Rogue…" Kurt began. He sat on the bed next to her and placed his hand on her belly, covered by the sheet. She felt the warmth of his skin and smiled up at him, too exhausted to hide her feelings and how he amended her previous hurt. "Vhat happened…?"

Rogue was about to shake her head in confusion but then it dawned on her what he wanted to know. She leaned back into the pillow and thought of the atrocious thing she had almost done to herself. She decided to keep that angst to herself but fill him in on the rest of what happened. It felt like she was telling a story but she knew she had lived it…she hoped she would not have to again.

"Well…um…ah was in the room and ah fell against the night table and a letter opener went through mah gut. Ah don't remember much but Logan lyin' on top o' me and ah could feel my body suckin' him up. Ah just knocked out after that ah guess… The scary thing is that that night ah had a dream that ah was Logan and that ah was in a lab…"

Kurt sat there quietly as he heard Rogue's dream and wondered if she knew and understood that it had not been a dream. He chose not to tell her what the professor had told them so that she would not worry. The professor would tell her when he felt that the time is right. Something tugged at his brain and he figured that this was one of those times that they should call an adult. Did Logan know of this?

The adults made their way as quickly as possible to the med lab and found Rogue sitting on the edge of the bed. The room smelled slightly of sulfur, most likely due to Kurt's sudden disappearance in order to tell them of Rogue's news. Logan had filled them in on Rogue's confession to him of her _dream_ and Xavier wanted to speak to her personally. He knew that there were certain questions that Logan would not have thought of asking.

"Hello Rogue," The professor said, his voice smooth and clear. Rogue's body continued to face the wall before her but she turned her head enough for them to get a clear view of her profile. Her eyes were slightly slanted and her lips parted in a soft smile.

"Hi prof…hi everybody," she said pleasantly. Hank cocked a brow at the politeness and shared a confused look with Ororo. Logan continued to stare at Rogue, trying to take in her facial expression, her body, her stance…anything that could change and give him an easier way of sensing a change in her personality before it happened.

"Rogue…I want you to tell me what happened…" The Professor remained quiet as Rogue repeated the same vision she had shared with Logan and Kurt earlier. The professor nodded his head when she was done and took in a deep breath, time to explain the situation to Rogue. "It hurts me to tell you this Rogue…but it seems that you have taken on full traits of Logan. It isn't going to be like other times when you merely received the surface situations. You did not have a dream; you actually relived what happened to him."

"Whadya mean Prof? Ya sayin' that ah'ma, that ah'm gonna think ah'm him? Tha ah'm gonna be him?"

"Yes Rogue. I can't tell you how long, but we are going to make this as easy as we can. We want to help you through this, Logan wants to help you through this and at the same time…perhaps we can discover what happened to him and what happened to him before the adamantium."

Rogue did not want to be selfish but she could not help but think about her problems and worries. She knew in the end she would try to help Logan anyway she could, her life may have been depressing but at least she remembered it. She slid off the bed and stood up straight, tightening the dress around her body.

"Ah need ta take a walk…" she said and made her way out of the lab before anyone could stop her.

Rogue ran up the stairs without thinking and went straight to the kitchen, she was starving. She heard a little bit of laughter and did not hesitate in opening the door; she looked as Kurt swiftly turned around and attempted to throw a box of kellogs Krispie at Kitty. The box landed on the floor and Kitty yelped in laughter.

Kurt and Kitty looked up at Rogue and looked as if they were about to say something but she turned around and left. More noise was coming down from the stairs and Rogue did not think as she left the mansion out the front door. Her bare feet were picking up the dirt on the gravel as she mad her way to the entrance. She was so focused on the vision and trying to understand it for herself that she did not hear the noise behind her.

Rogue did not think at all. The second that she felt the warm hand placed firmly on her shoulder she twisted her whole upper body around. The color disappeared as she saw red and she turned and looked into the eyes of her enemy. She screamed aloud in rage and agony as the bones from her wrist wrenched through the soft flesh between her knuckles and she rammed them straight into the belly of the person in front of her.

"Stripes…" Logan gurgled. He put his hands to his bleeding belly and saw her angry face go slack as she came back to herself. Her eyes welled with tears but he merely focused his powers on his stomach and waited for his healing factor to kick in. It never failed and in a few seconds he knew his body was back to normal.

Rogue just looked at him in fear and remorse so Logan chose not to question her actions. She merely did what he would do and had done many of times, until he had come to the institute and learned how to smell first, hurt second. He'd have to pass along that lesson to the poor girl in front of him. He had to help her if it was the last thing he could do for her.

"Where are ya tryin' ta go?" He asked her quietly. She looked down at her bleeding knuckles and looked back up at him. Tears poured down her cheeks and her nose was a bright red but she made no sound. She looked into his eyes and he did not know what to say to her. She on the other hand croaked two words that he was sure in his heart he had said the first time his claws had manifested themselves.

"That hurts…"


	8. A little Peace

**Thanks to: ladykind, Oraman Asturi, hellscream89, Juliana Castro, kitarrear**

* * *

Logan sat gruffly on the ground and looked up at the young woman whose eyes seemed to change everyday. At one point she was like a child, at another a woman, at one point she was full of hope and maybe more, but it seemed to always change back into anger. He was able to read most people but it seemed that she was just a bit more complicated. His thoughts reverted back to her eyes which were now full of so much emotion and she wasn't currently thinking about controlling this feature. What he noticed at this point was pure and utter exhaustion. She slumped down beside him and looked his way. He returned the look and attempted to read her mind as the professor did, but nothing came across.

Rogue on the other hand was trying to forget what had just happened. Had it been anyone else that she had hurt, there would have been very serious consequences. She figured the change of room was probably for the best. Though she and Kitty had not always been on the best of terms, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her. She looked down at her hands and noticed the chipped green polish, puke green to be exact. She honestly had to reapply her polish before it was noticeable, not that it mattered; no one would be seeing it anyway. At that particular moment she felt as if she had been slapped in her face. Was that really what was on her mind right now? She had undergone serious trauma, had caused trauma to someone else and was now a sitting batch of information. She wondered if she would ever someday let go of her selfishness.

"Logan…," she began, interrupting her thoughts. "Ah was wonderin'…ah mean, ah know that ya don't remember much and ah haven't had much time ta think. But one thing that ah'm sure of is that ah wanna help ya…and ah think that maybe ah can if we go to the place that ah saw in mah…in mah vision…" Rogue said. Logan cocked a brow.

"You…you remember where it is?" Logan asked and leaned in towards her. The short distance made her slightly uncomfortable and she began to inch away but Logan grabbed her arm. The lack of transmission between them gave Rogue a jolt in her heart and she broke out into a smile. Her cat eyes narrowed as her cheeks lifted up with her soft smile. She manipulated her hand to hold his and the warmth was new for both. They were the most pungent of the X-Men and maintained a purposeful distance with people. Logan almost returned it but he saw her face fall and instead pulled his hand back. Rogue twisted a blade of grass between her fingers and then looked up at him.

"Ah don't know exactly where it's at…but…we can put things together! Ah mean, ah know the Professor found ya in Canada, so we know that that's where it probably all happened. But I noticed a distinctive kind of tree and I probably could find it if ah could see a picture." She used her teeth to pull at her lip and accidentally ripped a piece of skin off. She muttered an explicative and Logan looked at her in shock. He was almost sure he had never used that word around any of the kids and knew that if Chuck caught her…he would never hear the end of it. His mind wandered back to what she had offered him and he thought of what the professor had said. What was done was done and he needed all the help he could get. At the same time he would offer his own helping hand to her.

"You remember all that? Geez kid…all I remember is the snow…and I don't even remember how that felt…" Logan looked away forlornly and his shoulders heaved in a sigh. Rogue put her hand on his shoulder and looked off at the distance. He chose not to reject her sympathy since this time he knew that someone honestly understood what he was going through. "All right Stripes… I'm game." He felt a little upset at having to rely on her but if only to himself he would let his guard down on his own. "But I think its time for us to face this thing. We can't wait until it gets worst to face this."

"Well then…why don't we get ta the house and we'll get somethin' outta mah head. Then…then ya can make your way over there," Rogue declared and stood up. She took the first step but got pulled back. Logan lightly swung her around and she looked up at him quickly before the intensity caused her to look away. He squeezed a few pulses in her shoulder and she looked back up at him before she cautiously gave him a hard hug. "It's okay Logan…" she began, knowing what was on his mind. "Ah'll be all right…"

"No kid…ya know you won't be. Now, if I waited this long to find out…I can wait a little longer. But I'm not leaving your side until we can be sure that you're gonna be all right. I'm gonna take care of ya kid," Logan said and grabbed her arm. And that was when he first saw the hint of change. It was quick, he knew, but in his head he replayed it in slow motion. Rogue pulled her upper lip back and her canines stretched to fangs, her eyes narrowed and she let out the slightest hint of a growl before going back to normal. Was it the way he possessively grabbed her arm or was it the fact that he told her what to do? He wasn't sure but he wasn't going to leave her without his help.

Rogue nodded her head and went back inside to change into some regular clothes. Logan's healing factor had her energized enough to even face one of his danger room sessions. But that was a little too far. She chose instead to face the chaos in the dining room and face one of Kitty's former monstrosities. Now that Kurt was helping her out in the kitchen, the food was not only edible but good. She entered the kitchen just as a hot dog was being thrown her way and instinctively shot out her claws, catching it in between them. The mutants looked at her in shock and she let out a slight laugh.

"Um…if ya'll would pass over a bun, ah'm sure ah can put this ta good use…" Rogue said. The other's let out a jolt of laughter and waved her over to the table. She sat down with them and felt the need to be amongst them. She wasn't sure, but she had a feeling that these moments of being accessible were going to become few and far between. She laughed along with the other youth until they had been done eating. She didn't realize the people watching her from afar.

"She's already givin' me valuable information. But for now I gotta stay behind, somethin' is brewin' and its big…it's real big," Logan said.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea for her to be alone Charles," Ororo said. Hank nodded his head in agreement.

"Nor do I," Hank mentioned. "And I also don't think she should room with Kitty, it isn't healthy for either one of them."

"I know…we'll just have to see what happens…"

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**I hope you guys enjoyed the read…I've got more coming up!!!**


	9. Rose

The night was cold when James woke up, his pajamas drenched in sweat. He looked about, his brown eyes wide with fear, as he heard the footsteps that paced up and down the hall. He always hated waking up so late in the evening, when everyone would be fast asleep. Slowly he allowed his feet to slip out from under the blanket and onto the hard floor. He crept to the door, trying to make the least noise possible and opened it slightly as he peered around its corner. The last thing he wanted was to be caught leaving his room, the punishment would be dyer. He had suffered enough punishments that day at the hands of the grounds keeper. No more playing with Dog anymore, he had gotten the beatdown of a lifetime.

Realizing that no one was around, his small feet quickly ran across the hall and up the long spiral stairs. He would almost get there and he knew she would make the nightmares go away. He knew she would. She was the only one who believed in him and felt he was strong even though he had his breathing problems. His father always found him a weakling, treating him as if he were a dissapointment as his son. The only person aside from her was his mother, she loved him too. But at this time of night she was not home, she never slept with his father. She was at the groundskeepers house, she was with him.

Slowly James opened the door, slightly panicking at the creaking of the door. He pushed it enough to slip around the crack. Closing the door behind him, he closed the lock and breathed a sigh of relief before creeping across the room. He peered over the bed and waited for her to open her eyes. She hadn't noticed that he was in her room yet so he just looked at her for a moment. She was beautiful, with long red hair, the color of her namesake and her skin was like a porcelein cup. When she opened them, he would be able to gaze into her green eyes, the color of fresh grass. Her eyes were always full of kindness and care, never pity and since his puppy had been killed by Dog, she was the only one loyal he had left.

When she didn't open her eyes he began to prod her, hoping that a poke was enough to awake her. It wasn't, and after a bit of a shake she still remained in her heavy sleep. He wondered if she was having a nightmare since her eyebrows were furrowed in concern or maybe bother. It didn't matter anyway, the important part was that she acknowledge his presence. He didn't want to frighten her when she woke up the next morning. He leaned over the edge of the bed and put his lips to her ear.

"Rose...Rose," he whispered. "Rose please wake up...I'm afraid and its very cold out from under the blanket."

At this Rose opened her eyes and James waited for a huge smile but instead, her face was full of worry. She sat up quickly and looked at him as if it was her first time seeing him. He took a thick strand of bright hair between his fingers and twirled.

"Rose, is there something wrong? Should I not have come? I will go back to my bed, I promise you," James said, his nose reddening at her look of fear.

"No, no its ok...um, you can come into the bed okay? I just have to go to the bathroom, allright?" Rose said and allowed James to crawl into the bed. James breathed a sigh of relief as she left the room.

"Don't let daddy catch you Rose!" James said to her, Rose nodded her head and left.

James waited in her room and looked about. He hadn't known that she had changed it and began to note the differences in the room. He then turned and saw a picture of her with another boy, no a man. Who could this person be? Why were they dressed so awfully? At the clicking of the door, James was interrupted by his thoughts and was suddenly overwhelmed with fear.

"Rose! Rose! It's the grounds keeper! Run Rose Run!" James said and hopped off the bed. He ran towards her and tried to pull her away. With weird strength he was able to knock her back but screamed as the groundskeeper came towards him.

"No! No! Mr. Logan! I'm sorry, I'm sorry about Dog! I didn't mean to hurt him, I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me. Daddy! Daddy!"

"Who are you?" He growled to James. James whimpered in reply.

"James, sir! I'm James Howlett! Have you gone mad?! Please, please Mr. Logan, leave us alone!"

Logan grabbed Rogue by the shoulders and held her tight as she struggled against him in Jean's room. He couldn't get her to snap out of it and was afraid of what world she was locked in. He slapped her across the face and Jean shrieked at the suddeness of it. Rogue fell limply, though still concious and took in a deep breath before opening her eyes.

Rogue looked up at Logans angry eyes in concern. When she saw Jean huddled in the corner, her hair all a mess, she panicked at the thought of having hurt one of her own.

"Oh...Oh Logan! Logan did ah hurt her? Did ah hurt Jean? Logan whats goin' on?" Rogue asked fearfully. Logan let out a breath of air that he hadn't know he was still holding. Rogue grabbed her face as it throbbed in pain and looked up at Logan. What had just happened flowed through her mind quickly as if she had seen it on a movie screen. "Ah need a paper and a pen, now!"

Jean rummaged through her desk before pulling out a pad and a pen. She handed the material over to Rogue who immediately slipped on the floor and began to scratch across the pad, her handwriting horrendous but legible. Logan sat down on the Jean's bed and Jean sat next to him. Neither said a word to each other but called for Xavier at the same time asking him to wait for their appearance in his office.

When Rogue was done she handed Logan the pad. Logan's eyes narrowed as the _story _played through his head. Who was James Howlett? Why would Rogue think she was him? Was he someone that Rogue had touched before? Was his personality blending with Logan's? Why had Rogue been so afraid of him? Why had Rogue called Jean Rose? Who was Rose?

Too many questions and too little answers. Logan led a shaken Rogue back to her bedroom where she fell asleep with no thought. He was afraid to awaken her after such an event. He and Jean met with the professor alone and recounted the events while sharing with him the story from Rogue's memory. Logan shook his head in confusion and grabbed his face with his hands, his beard scraping his wrists. He looked over at Jean and tried to concentrate on her.

"Rose?" he whispered to himself. Jean looked up at him, her brows high as she attempted to understand what could have cause Rogue/James to call her that name.

"I'll try to check the internet tomorrow and see if I find a James Howlett or something like that," she said. "I'll...I'll also see if a groundskeeper named Logan worked for them and whoever Dog is."

Logan left the room quietly, briefly pausing by the door as he heard Kurt praying in his room in German. A little further down Kitty's soft voice echoed as she prayed in her own room. He opened a particular door and found Rogue laying on the bed alone, his bed. He crawled in beside her and lay his head behind hers on his pillow; their pillow. The scent of freshly washed hair creeping up his nose. He tucked it behind her ear before giving her ear a kiss, letting his lips linger on it for a second too long.

That night was the first night in years the untouchable, unattainable Wolverine had actually slept with a woman. His arms were tight about her waist, their bodies perfectly aligned. He had no nightmares nor did she.

* * *

**Hi Family, Do you guys have any idea where this idea was inspired from:)**

**love you guys**


	10. James

**Thanks for the patience, reviews and "hurry ups"**

* * *

Logan growled a little to himself when his nostrils became aware of another human being besides him, but a second sniff forced him to register who exactly that human being was. He opened his eyes and met the icy green stare of Rogue. His smile remained un-returned as she glared at him, whether she was aware of it he did not know but he decided to find out what the hell was going on. He sat down in the bed, his hair all askew and glared right back at her, her face did not change. She merely continued to invade his mind with the emotions she expressed to him at that moment.

"What the hell ya lookin' at stripes?" Logan asked her, as calmly as he could. She sat down as well, the frail blanket falling to her lap, unaware of the flesh that she had exposed. He on the other hand was fully aware of her figure through the thin long shirt that she had been wearing the night before. He mentally shook his head and brought his mind back from wherever it had been heading. Her chilled voice further removed the previous distraction from his mind's eye, she definitely sounded pissed.

"You loved her Logan," she said to him, her voice was as cold as ice and he heard the hint of betrayal that caused the slightest shake to its serenity. He was unable to speak, knowing exactly who she was talking about and not wanting to interrupt. "When ah went into the room and saw her, ah could feel how much ya loved her. You couldn't wait to grow up Logan; ya wanted ta marry her someday."

"So…I'm James?" Logan whispered his words, more of a statement then a question. She did not respond and instead continued to glare at him; he took in a deep breath as the fact that he had a name registered in his mind. They looked at one another for a long time as it registered in his mind that he had been that little boy, the one she had been playing. His fear as a child had been evident on her face that night, but he did not understand why he would be afraid of himself. She had shouted Mr. Logan to him in fear; perhaps she had already been coming to and had remained unaware of it. "What else did you feel Rogue?"

Rogue looked away when she saw the searching look on his face. She tried to get her mind back to the present and ignore the anger that surged through her. She felt quite possessive of his emotions at the moment and now that she was knowledgeable at the way he had felt towards another woman, who looked exactly like Jean, hurt her. She had always felt inferior to Jean and now to know that even Logan's affections would lie on someone like her; it was a reminder of what she would never be able to have. A reminder of how worthless she would always be.

"All right…ah remember the groundskeeper's face or Mr. Logan through your eyes. He looked exactly like ya Logan, a replica. Ah thought that maybe it was you but how could ah be you and look at you at the same time?" She asked this question of herself and watched him ponder; his face as puzzled as she was sure her own looked. She sighed heavily and looked up at him, his eyes glazed over as he attempted to find a distant memory he was not able to conjure. She allowed her anger to slip and put her hands over his, bringing him back to earth.

Logan waited for the rush that always came with her touch to flow but it never did. They had become one that day, their minds, bodies, hearts and souls. He lifted his hand up and without thinking pulled her into his chest, her cheek being brushed by the soft hair that covered him. She wrapped her arms around him and he felt the urge to squeeze her until they were as one as their minds seemed to be but a knock on the door forced them to leap apart as if they had been caught in some act of sin.

"Logan…its Jean," a soft voice said from behind the closed door. Logan looked over at Rogue who had already slipped on a pair of gloves she kept at his bedside. He could not see her face but her rigid back said it all. He opened the door and stared down at Jean as if he was boring a hole through her head. He was merely trying to concentrate on it; attempting to see what Rogue saw at that moment, perhaps he would understand why Rogue thought he might want her.

Rogue walked over to them and saw Logan's eyes skimming over Jean and felt a rush of jealousy. She slipped the gloves off her fingers and placed it against his shoulder blade, forcing her thoughts out. Logan's throat tightened and his lungs shrunk for a split second as Rogue's thoughts and feelings entered his own. He then saw Jean for what James had seen; she was beautiful, pure and kind. Her eyes were wide and warm, something he did not experience often. He also felt pain as he thought of his pup, the one who had been killed by the hands of Dog; a face so familiar yet he could not place his finger on it. The last thought was a feeling of inadequacy, he felt like the small little boy she had portrayed. He had felt for that single session as if he were to get an asthma attack, which he had never had before. Had that been him? Had he been a weakling?

Logan had always been strong and more so with the healing ability that he held. But there was something in that brief emotion that revived in him the understanding that he was not who he had thought he was now. Perhaps with all the years that had passed by he had slowly built up the stamina to face life. Perhaps with all the people who had died and had passed on as he continued to live, he hoped to keep them at a distance. He felt a great sense of loss and guilt now as he looked at Jean. There was something that was trying to force itself out and all he wanted to do was let it go but it was not the time. He turned towards Rogue who continued to look at Jean and he followed Jean to the library; she seemed unaware of the transition that had occurred between him and Rogue. Not even Logan had realized that instead of sucking out his thought, she had given him her own.

They entered the professor's office that had a full report on his desk, cover sheet and all. Logan cocked his head to the side and raised his brow at the efficient redhead. He was sure she had spent much time seeking the information he had needed and he was truly grateful to her for that effort. His ears perked at the quickened pattern of a heartbeat and looked over at Rogue who quickly turned her face to the professor before her. She had been watching his every move, it was disconcerting to see and feel what she was currently emitting. The whole transfer was taking a serious toll on his brain. He coughed into his hand and took in a deep breath before waiting patiently for the professor to hand him the papers. Why did he not just take them? He was sure that it was fear of the unknown, what would he find?

"Well Logan," the professor began, his voice soft and soothing to the ear, even though to Logan it sounded like the voice of death at that given moment. "It seems that the name Howlett existed quite some time ago. The name can be dated back to the late twelfth century and early thirteenth. You would find some interesting facts on the parentage of these people…as well as theirs."

Logan grabbed the piece of paper that held an image of a yellow and black design, seemingly similar to the colors he wore from his X-Men uniform. On top of a helmet was an Owl that held a rose between his claws, the site was alarming. He held it tightly between his hands as the ever so slight shaking caused the paper to rattle in the deafening silence. The professor continued on with his explanation.

"It seems that the Howlett estate is dated back to being one of the first built during the early 1600's in Norfolk, Virginia. Right now, the only ones who dwell there is an old family friend who had been given the deed to the house," Xavier told him. The place flooded with silence since there was no more to say. The address was there and no phone number had been located, but the words they had all expected to hear had risen.

"I'll be leavin' in an hour," Logan said and stood straight up. "Scott can take over the lessons; the kids got a break comin' up so you'll have more help in takin' care of the kids."

"All right Logan, will you be taking Ororo with you, at least for any help or guidance in the matter," Xavier saying, knowing the answer already but receiving another response that shocked him.

"No, I'll be goin' at it alone…unless I can take Stripes with me. She knows me better then I know myself," he said honestly. Rogue looked up at him in confusion, unsure of why he would take her along. Her eyes narrowed at the thought that he would ask her to join him on a mission he had always wanted to pursue on his own.

"Logan this is not appropriate. I cannot allow you to take one of the young girls alone to another state," Xavier said, wanting to help but whose ethics were gaining on him.

"Unless you can control the beast inside of her, I can't see why not. Nobody's gonna be able to handle it if she loses control, and I won't be here to take care of her," Logan insisted. He was going to take her with permission or not, but better with permission. The nod of Xavier's head was received with a grunt in return. He stood up and looked over at Rogue whose eyes were now wide at being allowed to leave with him. "Get your things, not a whole luggage case just enough to fit in your school bag and meet me by the van."

"All right," she answered and looked over at the professor whose eyes held concern. She touched his hand with her gloved one. "Ah'll be all right Prof, ah swear ah will. Logan won't let anyone hurt me, he'll protect me."

She left the room quickly to get her things together. The professor, completely unaware that Jean was still in the room, let out words of concern and leaned back in his chair.

"But who will protect Logan?"


End file.
